Monday, October 15, 2007

This is as Cheezy as I get

As with any American with a mailbox, I receive loads of mail order catalogs. I wrote below about Harriet-Carter, and I have a feeling HC sells their customer list to make a few more bucks because once the snag a mail-order-sucker (visual: my head), they can all benefit. That's my suspicion, anyway, because why do we get so many catalogs?

A recent one that arrived is from "What on Earth" and I guess they specialize in truly useless trash instead of stuff which disguises its crumminess. For example is the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker which is about as tasteless as it sounds.

Anyhoo, back to my point (and I do have one): is where my cheesiness comes in. There are some good slogans on their T-shirts/bumper stickers. In general, as a scholar of proverbs, I am fascinated by the subject of brief, even poetic, wisdom. This is found in literature with aphorisms (often found in quote books, which I collect). In popular culture, these are found on the bumpers and t-shirts.

The cheese? I'm going to list my favorites. Sorry, gotta do it. [Text in brackets denotes that the text on the shirt is in smaller letters... a common tool in these visual/language jokes]. Language will be changed for taste.
  • God Loves You [Satan thinks you're a wuss]
  • Life is Tough [But it's tougher when you're stupid]
  • I'm not lazy, you're just bossy
  • Welcome to the Dark Side of the Force... we have cookies {there's a good pic}
  • Forget a therapist, what you need is an exorcist
  • Yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking
  • Here I Am [now what are your other two wishes]
  • Times up. What's your point.
  • OK. Now *you're* on the list.
  • Note: I am not listening to you.
Now we will return to non-cheese.

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