Friday, April 30, 2004

Oh great, war crimes

To quote from the Times story:
The abuse, portrayed by photographs that were first broadcast on the CBS News program "60 Minutes II" on Wednesday night and that were verified by military officials, depict naked prisoners being subjected to sexual humiliation. The CBS program reported that poorly trained American reservists were forcing the captives to perform simulated sexual acts to break down their will before interrogation.
Uh, what?! As I've said before, the problem we're having with Iraq is predictable considering that we have reservists there instead of the real professionals (who are, Thank God, in Afghanistan, where we have an ongoing war against the people who attacked us some time in September a few years ago).

The reservists are not trained for this stuff. And when you're not trained, you scare easily and resort to bad stuff. Also, these soldiers were told that they were supposed to go home a while ago but they keep getting forcibly renewed.

My question is whether Bush is going to institute a draft (unlikely) or just deny these soldiers a chance to vote in November (so likely that the odds are 2:1 against... once a vote-stealer, always a vote-stealer).

First Yahrzeit of An Accomplished Mission

May 1, 2003, President Flight Suit declared that the Iraq War was a 'mission accomplished.' My esteemed colleagues from across the corridor may try to spin how the choreography was anything less than absurd posturing of an infantile ineffectual blowhard. Considering that today we handed over control of Falluja to the Iraqis after getting our underpaid-duped-Reservist-army kiester kicked in.
The Marines began moving from some of their positions here today as a former Iraqi Army general entered the besieged city under a plan intended to restore order with a new Iraqi force of 600 to 1,000 troops led by officers who once served Saddam Hussein.
I would venture to say that Bush accomplished the mission like he has accomplished everything else in his life.

Science At Work

The Inscrutable 8-Ball Revealed

The Durn Liberal Media

Ya know how the liberal media distorts all the issues and highlights the shortcomings of Republicans and gives the Democrats a free ride? It's a bunch of bull-hockey. Don't believe me? See this article in today's New York Times: Some Blacks and Hispanics Criticize Kerry on Outreach - which has absolutely no purpose but to inflate a non-issue about the Democratic challenger into front-page blowhardiness. Where's the expose about the President and his wet-nurse Cheney in front of the 9/11 commission? If the press were liberal, I wouldn't be so angry, now would I?

Monday, April 26, 2004

For my first few years in RIETS, I maintained a white hot rage about the corruption and mediocrity of the institution that I found in this parent institution that reflected, in a milder way, the neglect and aimlessness of American Modern Orthodoxy. One aspect of my rage was the way rabbis were allowed to act wretchedly while protected by their meaningless veil of Torah knowledge. Some simp with a Baba Batra under his arm could get away with cruelty, indifference, and idiocy all because they were considered 'a good ol' boy' of the beit Midrash.

My second year in RIETS had a difficult beginning. The combined malice of three particular rabbis -- one craven, one doltish, one evil -- made my learning situation almost untenable. I did not have a chavruta, nor my standard makom in the Beit Midrash, and I managed to find a seat in the Rosh Yeshiva section of the Beis. I sat next to Rav Ahron Soloveitchik zt'l (it was my great honor that he frequently borrowed the volumes from my mini-Shas) and I sat across from Rav Yosef Blau yavil l'chaim tovim.

So, for 2 hours minimum every day, Rav Blau and I had a shmooze chavruta. One topic that came out was the horrifying state of untracked rabbinic sex offenders. It was in his conversations that I learned about Mordechai Gafni, a.k.a. Marc Winiarz. I had just met Winiarz at the General Assembly in 1997 and my Freak-dar went off the charts. (Some people claim they have a "gay-dar", which allows them to identify homosexuals; whatever; some claim a "jew-dar"; I have the ability to recognize freaks, liars, and evil).

I also learned about Rabbi Ze'ev Kopolevitch. Rosh Yeshiva of Netiv Meir. And I was given hints about the case of Baruch Lanner.

A side point about Lanner; I've been after this sickbag for years, ever since I first met him in 1989. This is why I've been so outspoken about him (see my article "Prisons of Thought" in the Fall 2000 JOFA Journal

At that point, as a result of the conversations, and my YU fueled rage, I wanted to create Intershul. Intershul is to be an Interpol of jewish communities and organizations, a way for all of us to keep track of abusive husbands, criminal rabbis, and other community undesirables.

As I am still a pupa in the community structure, I have not been able to do much with the organization. However, a website I've stumbled over is doing some of the work already. Bravo.

The organization,, is fighting the good fight. They have resources for professionals and victims. They also have a rogues gallery of bad rabbis.

Some special cases in there. There have been accusations against Rav Shlomo Aviner which I find difficult to believe, but it needs to be investigated with full due process. The Shlomo Carlebach case is in there too. My favorite, though, is the current Chief Rabbi of Israel was elected despite the known accusations against him. Tisha B'av, here we come.

Jewish Action about Rav Ahron Lichtenstein

Download as PDF file.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Rutgers and Anti-Semitism

The new scandal! A Rutgers University weekly, The Medium had a cartoon that was so offensive to Jews that it has sparked a media firestorm. Note, do not click on the above link unless you are ready to see X-rated material. Basically, The Medium is a hypermanic, X-rated, college humor-style weekly. They were trying to make a joke. The paper has some of the foulest material I have seen in a long time... including jokes about Jesus and cartoons about incest in The Family Circus. I say let the issue drop; it's not worth it.

Famous Casualty

Pat Tillman, 27, who left the NFL (Arizona Cardinals) to join the army after 9/11 was killed in action in Afghanistan: Former N.F.L. Player Killed in Afghanistan. He was a Ranger (wow). At least he was killed rooting out terrorists (i.e. the war, which is still going on, by the way, in Afghanistan) and not in Iraq.

With all the corroborating literature coming out (Paul O'Neil, Richard Clarke, Bob Woodward) it is increasingly clear that Bush and Co. lied to the American public about Vietnam, I mean, Iraq. And they didn't have to lie! That's what's so funny. If Bush had just said "We're going in to beat up Saddam because he is a big meanie" then the subsequent debate in the country ultimately would have supported him.

And if it didn't support war, if clear open honest communication would have resulted in letting Iraq and Saddam fester, then that's what we as a country should have done. Note, I am glad we toppled Saddam; I am glad we freed Iraq. But not at the expense of destroying our own process of Democracy.

A government that thinks they know better than the people is called a tyranny. We have a Constitution to prevent that. I know, I know; Bush wasn't elected by the Constitution; he's in power despite the law's best efforts. Even then, even with Bush being a criminal, that doesn't mean the ordinary Republicans I know have to support him.

It's kinda nuts! I mean, Clinton was taken to task for lying about adultery and possibly, yes oh yes possibly, having a shady real-estate deal when he was governor of Arkansas. But Bush here is clearly guilty of purposefully duping the American public into a war which is claiming hundreds of soldiers' lives. Soldiers who defend the constitution; ironic, eh?

Oh My Goodness Gracious, Encyclopedia Brown Lives

Modern Humorist has a collection of "Encyclopedia Brown" adventures (by John Warner) that include brilliant social comedy (e.g. a quote: "'I’m a new man, thanks to the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad.' said Bugs Meany... Encyclopedia noticed a copy of the Qur’an [on the floor] sitting next to an empty McRib container.") and, when appropriate, skewer George W. Bush in a wonderful, wonderful way. God Bless you Modern Humorist, and God Bless America.

Tikkun Olam

For you medical/chemist types out there: why don't they put 100% of your daily Vitamin requirements in a candy bar? People (and by people I mean Americans, and by Americans, I mean me) consume junk food quite a bit. Why can't we combine a "Centrum" with a "Snickers"? (Centrickers? Snicktrum?)

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Good Reading

Vietnam War Medal of Honor Recipients

More Kerry Military Stuff

Looking further on his Military Records page, I see

These are his ribbons (in official order), as can be seen here (or here)
and, in DD215 he received two awards from 'Nam:
The Presidenial Unit Citation is the highest unit award, "for service in a unit cited in the name of the president for extraordinary heroism in action" and, according to the free online dictionary (I take what I can get): "The degree of heroism required is the same as that which would warrant award of a Distinguished Service Cross." The award is for Task Force 115, a.k.a. Operation Swift Raider.

According to this official looking webpage only two Navy swiftboat units received that award, Task Group 194.0 - Operation Sea Lords - and Task Force 115 - Units participating in Operation Swift Raider.

Pursuant to that, see Kerry's: "Request For Swiftboat Duty" - which means he purposefully put himself into duty that by definition demanded the highest gallantry.

Finally there's something called Bupers Orders to Gridley which is relatively unimportant but it sounds funny.

John Kerry's Military Records

I find it funny that Republican flunkies are attacking Kerry for leaving Vietman early. Evidently, if you are wounded three times (receive 3 purple hearts) then you can leave 'Nam and go back to another assignment in the States. One attack on him is that he faked his first purple heart! Another is that he shouldn't have taken the opportunity to leave. All in all, he's a coward.

Yet, he also was awarded the Bronze Star.

Now, I am a fan of military history (and bravery in general) and a bronze star is nothing to sneeze at. See Kerry's citation.

According to the record, he was in command of a swift boat when his ship, and another next to his, were simultaneously attacked by mines and then 'small arms and automatic weapons fire from the river banks.' Kerry was wounded by shrapnel and was in bleeding and in pain. But a crewman fell overboard and was subjected to sniper fire while in the water. Despite his wounds, Kerry led the boat back to rescue the crewman and, exposing himself on the deck to enemy fire, despite his wounds, Kerry personally rescued the crewman.

Then Kerry directed his crew to rescue the other boat which was too damaged to move. Remember, they are all under machine gun fire and he is wounded. Under the barrage, his boat towed the other boat to safety.

Bronze Star material. He's brave, responsible, and cool under fire.

But he also was awarded a Silver Star. There are 4 bravery medals in the military. The highest is the Medal of Honor. Often you need to die to get one. Next is the Distinguished Service Cross (for Army and Air Force, the Navy and Marines have the Navy Cross). The DSC is awarded to someone who deserves a Medal of Honor but doesn't have political backing (and is often alive). Next is the Silver Star. Next is the Bronze Star.

So what did he get the silver star for?

He was leading three boats in a mission to insert "Viatnemese regional force troops" when the boats were brought under heavy enemy machine gun fire 50 feet away from them and the landing zone. "Unhesitatingly, Lt. JG Kerry ordered his boat to attack as all units opened fire and beached directly in front of the enemy ambushers. This daring and courageous tactic surprised the enemy and succeeded in routing a score of enemy soldiers. ... After proceeding approximately eight hundred yards [downriver], the boats were again take under fire from a heavily foliated area and a B-40 rocket exploded close aboard PCF 94. With utter disregard for his own safety and the enemy rockets, he again ordered a charge on the enemy, beached his boat only ten feet from the VC rocket position and personally led a landing party ashore in pursuit of the enemy." The citation concludes that he received the award because of: "extraordinary daring and personal courage ... in attacking a numerically superior force in the face of intense fire"

Now remember; I am not a Kerry fan. I wanted almost every other (plausible) candidate for the Democrats besides him. And there's a lot of room to criticize him. But how dare they criticize his bravery? His sacrifice for his country? That is dishonorable, hypocritical and disgusting. And perfectly in line with the ethics of the current administration.

Dr. Avivah Gottlieb Zornberg

Avivah Zornberg spoke in KJ last night and it was, as usual, awesome. There are very few living scholars who can successfully commingle Parshanut, Chasidut, Psychology, literature and all around insight and erudition like she can. The Chasidic rebbes of old could; my rebbe, Rav Ebner can. Good drash-based parshanut skirts very close to peshat. If anything, she and scholars like her are able to elucidate the probity and purpose of Midrash, demonstrating through their modern abilities that the rabbis of the Midrash were equal geniuses. The hacks and clowns who normally deal with Midrash either reduce their words to childish literalism or take Midrash as a literary license to kill.

Two reasons why I'm a Zornberg fan: One is that she is a teacher. She loves to just sit and teach. She doesn't care if the crowd is small; she has no diva ego. The second is directly related: when she teaches, she innovates. She obviously looks at every class opportunity as a time to create new ideas and knowledge. She is the real deal.

Very few scholars on the circuit are like that. A way to tell if you're dealing with a real teacher is (a) the readiness to teach, even on short notice, and (b) the lack of what I called above the "diva ego." (Another scholar who has these laudable traits, for example, is Rachel Friedman of Drisha).

When I was the Torah U-Madda dude at YU, Avivah agreed to speak for us for a nominal fee. And she was extraordinary. It was not beneath her dignity to go down to Stern to teach to college students. Other speakers I arranged gave that impression (one in particular who till this day harbors ill will against me).

To sum up: Yay Avivah Zornberg.

Did Bin Laden Plot to Kill Clinton?

Guess what, according to this story Osama may have tried to assassinate Clinton. What makes the story *really* interesting is that it's from 1998!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

CIA Annexes Golan Heights

So, in preparation for Yom Ha'atzmaut, I came across the CIA World Factbook for Israel. Immediately I looked for the 'disputed territories and, sure as shinola, the disputed territories are not under Israeli control. Nosiree.

What's strange is that while the CIA doesn't allow Israel the West Bank, neither do they give it to Jordan! The same thing with the Gaza Strip; it's hard to tell from the map of Egypt, but it's not listed in the text of Egypt under 'disputed territories.'

However, the generous souls in the declare that Syria owns the Golan Heights! Funny... I thought Israel annexed the Golan Heights! Well Syria has more opium, and Lord knows that counts for something in a modern intelligence organization.

My assumption about the other two territories is that the CIA has already given them to the Palestinians and they're just waiting until they become a country. Funny, no? How a real country, Israel, ranks lower than an imaginary country?

Yom Ha'Atzma'ut Sources

  1. The Halachic Status of Medinat Yisrael, from Volume 9 Number 28: Kedoshim
  2. How We Can Help Medinat Yisrael Now, from Volume 11 Number 5: Bereishit
  3. Hallel on Yom Haatzmaut, from Volume 11 Number 24: Tazria-Metzora
  4. Living in Yesha during Dangerous Times, from Volume 12 Number 14: Bo
  5. Performing Kria upon Seeing Jerusalem, from Volume 12 Number 27: Kedoshim
From the Lookstein Center for Jewish Education in the Diaspora:


Not too long ago, we reinstated our cable. My wife has an addiction to "Law and Order" and that was a hunger that must be filled. For months, I filled my eyeball-media need with Netflix - renting DVDs of TV shows, including the first season of L&O. I used Netflix to experiment with TV shows that I had heard about and wanted to try. I was actually bored by "24" - I felt the whole thing was a badly written gimmick. It was crisis for crisis' sake and the characters weren't sympathetic for me to care if they lived or died.

But I was converted bodily into a fanatic for The West Wing. Man, that's a good show. I have no idea what it's like now, in its Nth season, but the first season is masterful. They're showing the second season on Bravo (which means I need to stay up til 11 to watch it... TiVo is looking more attractive now than ever).

What I find interesting about the show is that it is a Clintonian president in a Bush Jr. world. I have this weird thought that "The West Wing" is probably George W's favorite show. Just that Cheney, or another one of Bushie's handlers, dubs the show with different dialogue. Sometimes they just add the word "not" (e.g. "... Mr. President we do NOT need to have a coherent plan for the future..."), but other times they need to just redo dialogue completely.

The West Wing conceives of the president as an extraordinary person. A Jefferson model. People of achievement. True, The West Wing is made by entertainment type people who are high most of the time; why do we need a president who is a Nobel Prize winner (in Economics, yet; like that has any practical value)?

The show reminds me of the classic Saturday Night Live sketch with Phil Hartman zt'l playing a President Reagan who was a massive dimbulb to the public and a policy whiz in private, secretly in control of the government while publicly in control of nothing save his hair. It was hilarious because it was a perfect send-up of the Republican model of president (e.g. incompetent moron with either a good resume or good appearance... if you don't believe me, explain Ford, Reagan, Bush, Bush). When Clinton took over he actually became the policy wonk that we wanted (note: Nixon was supposed to know what he was doing, too, but he was demon spawn).

Bush Jr. is a travesty. The West Wing, while fantasy, does carry the Democrat's idea of president which is an extension of their idea of a government that has value because it puts good ideas into practice. Democratic presidents and candidates have either been brilliant non-leaders or highly talented professionals (e.g. Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton, Gore). You wouldn't want these guys to run the country, but you'd like to have them as thesis advisors.


Anyone who watches "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" has got to wonder why they haven't gotten a Pulitzer yet. They are the only news organization that speaks clearly about the problems with the government. They are as biting as The Onion but less oblique and more like real news. Seriously. Maybe I should start a petition.

Friday, April 16, 2004

AFI's list of 100 Heros & Villians

AFI, a group of otherwise nobodies, has done it again with a list of the top 50 good guys and bad buys in movies.

Remember that AFI asks ordinary movie-goers what they think, so the list is skewed towards recent movies (e.g. 50. General Maximus Decimus Meridus, from Gladiator for a good guy and 50. Alonzo Harris, Training Day for a bad guy). I *am* gratified to see that Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi are on the list but Luke Skywalker is not. I have my own private list, but many of them are on this:

2. Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark
3. James Bond, Dr. No
4. Rick Blaine, Casablanca
5. Will Kane, High Noon
14. Han Solo, Star Wars
17. Harry Callahan, Dirty Harry
20. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
26. Superman, Superman
29. General George Patton, Patton
36. Rooster Cogburn, True Grit
37. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars
40. Frank Serpico, Serpico
44. Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle, The French Connection

I'm glad to see that other people have slightly the same taste I have (except that they put some of the bad guys in the good guy list and good guys in the bad list):

10. T.E. Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia


9. Regan MacNeil, The Exorcist
11. Michael Corleone, The Godfather Part II

Exhausted in August

Just so's ya know. According to Slate's Fred Kaplan (While Bush vacationed, 9/11 warnings went unheard) Bush may never have seen the famous August memo because he was on vacation that whole month. I've heard people give exuses for Bush because he was only on the job for 8 months when terror struck... but, to be honest, he wasn't even on the job!

Wednesday, April 14, 2004


Jewish Publication Society: The JPS Bible Commentary: Ecclesiastes

The August 6, 2001 Memo

In case you're wondering, here's the memo (off CNN). Hooray for the First Amendment.

Minor League Ethical Question

Around 86th Street there are a bunch of sad people who have been hired to hand out pamphlets. I would like to find out if they are paid by the hour or by how many pamphlets they distribute or by a combination of both.

If they are in any way paid by the number of pamphlets they distribute, should an ethical person take a pamphlet in order to increase this obviously needy person's income?

The Leader of the Free World is an Idiot

That is not an opinion, it is a fact. Anyone who saw last night's press conference (Text of Bush's Press Conference) should come to the same conclusion. If not, you have either (a) lowered your expectations so much that as long as he walks upright and zips his fly, we'll consider it a win, or (b) you are so blinded by ideology that you can't hear any criticism of the standard bearer.

Please, you republicans out there, I am willing to admit that Clinton was a tawdry horndog who couldn't keep his own pants on nor tell the truth when it would help him. I am willing to admit the manifest facts. Please, be honest, be confident in your own ideology and sanity, be a pal, admit that Bush is a joke.

I get peeved when the Israeli Left rationalize Arafat. I understand their position when they say "Arafat is a psychopathic killer but still the only hope for peace." But if they say "He's misunderstood; he wants peace; he is a cuddly dude" then we have no use for these ideologues.

Bush was an embarrassment last night. His two spiritual predecessors, Nixon and Reagan, were never this bad. Nixon knew what was going on even though he sounded like he was as crooked as a snake's support hose. And Reagan never knew what was going on, but he was, hands-down, The Great Communicator.

Bush, last night, couldn't answer a question. Couldn't admit - in even the most minor way - that he could have done better.

Arrogance is a punishable offense to the American mind; just ask Martha Stewart.

I just can't wait till Bush Jr. is back in Texas working for a business someone else built. For you republicans out there, let's make a deal. Howzibout you endure four years of a bad Democrat and we'll call it even. Let 2008 be the real election. Hillary Clinton vs. Jeb Bush, or whatever. Huh? Gimme a call.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Sad News about, no joke, Al Yankovic

I am a fan. Parents of 'Weird Al' Found Dead at Home. Nick and Mary Yankovic died of carbon monoxide poisioning. Evidently, they had a wood burning stove and poor home ventilation. They were 86 and 81 respectively.

Friday, April 09, 2004

The Worst Haircut Ever

Before Pesach, I am a very busy man. It's a joke, really, that the Assistant Rabbi (or any rabbi, really) should give a Shabbas Hagadol Drasha because the weeks preceding Pesach are filled with answering shylas, selling chametz, running hagalat keilim, etc. Finally, the Sunday before Yom Tov, I was able to get my pre-Sefira haircut.

I go to a barbershop that will remain nameless for reasons that will soon be apparent. For our purposes, I will call it "Shmoopercuts." I go to Shmoopercuts because it is under $20.00 (which is my rational upper limit for uncomplicated male hair-cuttery) and it is in my apartment building. It's a busy day, for a Sunday, and the regular crowd was shuffling in. I needed to wait a half-hour. In the meantime, I needed to answer a rather complicated shyla - from a guy waiting for a haircut with me! - and deal with synagogue business.

Finally, my time for cutting has arrived and I am ushered to a chair by a barberess that I hadn't seen before. Bad. She asked how I wanted it; I went through the shpiel about saving the length of the sideburns; how I keep my hair in a part. Because I was in a rush [warning] I said that she could use the clippers on my hair and not scissors.

Now, in my many years of haircuts, this has been a fine thing to do. Until that day, the worst haircut I received was in Rockville, Maryland, by someone who was furtively cutting my hair while glancing in the mirrors for both the INS and FBI. That haircut was so bad that she used both the hand-shpritzer *and* demanded that I shmear on head-goo. That haircut is now 9th on my list of bad cuts, the Shmoopercuts one inhabits slots 1 through 8.

The Barbress asked how short and I said a trim. She asked how much I wanted on the clippers and I said a 2. Now, I've gotten a 2 for the past few months. It works. What she gave me wasn't a 2. It was also garishly stupid. Because she did number 2 all over my head.

I nodded off (as I often do in the barber chair). When I lifted my head up, I noticed that I had no hair left. This was a bit alarming, as I was just about be the senior rabbi for Pesach. I stopped her and demanded a mirror and my glasses. Turns out, without my glasses on, I couldn't see my bright red hair on my nearly denuded skull. It was there, but gainfully cut off in its prime. My hair color is so light that I only *looked* bald (the same problem I have with a beard).

The haircutter looked frightened and said that it was what I had asked for. I manfully resisted giving her mussar (the smartest thing I did that whole day) - I bit my tongue so as not to scream to her that as a barber, her prime directive is to make the person look good. Why on earth would someone who wears a black suit on a Sunday want to look like Eminem?

I paid, and yes, I tipped her (she tried to refuse but in a perverse way it wasn't her fault). Besides, given her intelligence and skill, she will need the funds pretty soon.

My hair grows pretty quick, but I still entered Yom Tov looking like a Jarhead. The worst thing about the cut wasn't that I was now staring straight at my alarmingly receding hairline (my normal cut is long in the front and I never bother to inspect the beachhead) but the fact that everyone who meets me will assume that I actually *wanted* this atrocious 'do. For me, it's not so painful to be considered bad looking . I'm used to it. But it's much more painful to be treated as if I have bad judgment.

Pic from here.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Cool Hypertext Haggadahs

Aish Haggadah Matrix

Fascinating Passover site

Passover : History and Meaning of Freedom in Faith - Jewish Passover Holidays, Story, Recipes, Seder, Meal, Supper, Feasts, Foods, Songs, Humor, Paintings, Art

Another Passover Link

Always a good source: Jacob Richman's Hot Sites - Jewish - Holidays - Passover

Passover Sources

The Best Passion Commentary Yet

I haven't seen "South Park" since the first season (which was groundbreaking, at times funny, in general disturbing, and had enough intelligence and satire to continue surviving.

The most recent episode is Episode 804: The Passion of the Jew. Cartman, the Parker-Stone everyhick who is the butt of most of the satire, has seen the Passion so often that he starts dressing up as Hitler and calling a picture of Mel Gibson "Furher." Kyle, the Jewish character, is chickened into seeing the movie (we see him cowering and vomiting through it) and he feels so guilty for his responsibility in killing Jesus that he has nightmares featuring his joining in with the disgusting Jewish stereotypes stabbing and jeering Jesus.

Meanwhile, Stan and Kenny see the movie and they think it's so bad that they go to Mel Gibson in Malibu to demand their money back. Mel turns out to be a sado-masochistic loony who runs around his house in his underwear, shrieking, and demanding to be tortured.

Over-the-top, but (as usual) the message is very true.