Sunday, June 29, 2003

Friday, June 27, 2003

I Blame Hillary's New Book

We have to blame somebody! The New Jersey authorities claim that they were "lured perhaps by the smell of dirty diapers in the trash" -- but we all know what *that* is a code-name for!

Latest Addition to Stupid or Evil Debate

According to the New York Jewish Week, the head of a Russian Jewish newspaper claims that the UJA's "2002 Jewish Community Study of New York" undercounted the Russians by 100,000.

Valery Weinberg of the Novoye Russkoye Slovo states that the undercounting “was done intentionally to diminish the role of the Russian-speaking Jewish community.”

Now, after spending a few years as a public servant, I recognize that when someone says something that idiotic, they are often trying to position themselves for greater power. Either that, or they're nuts.

I guess Valery (if that is his real name) is like every other low-self-esteem minority spokesman. He thinks that everyone else in the world actually *cares* about his rinky-dink organization.

Why on earth would UJA undercount Jews? As far as I know (and I base my knowledge on parlor jokes from the 1950s) the UJA will seek out Jews on desert islands in order to get a donation.

In any case, I just relish the irony that Russians can ever be undercounted.

Do you have enough Fluff in your life


Probably not

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Supreme Court Shocker

Clarence Thomas voted against people having sex! I guess when faced with voting against Scalia...

Strom Thurmond, dead

How can they tell?

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Leon Uris, Author of 'Exodus,' Dies at 78

Baruch Dayan ha-Emet.

Terrorist Creep

It is inevitable, I guess, once we accept that one terrorist organization (the PLO) can be negotiated with, all organizations are fair game. Either that, or the New York Times - and the Western World - has finally acknowledged the functional equivalency of Hamas and the PLO. See the Story: Israel Seizes Militant Suspects in Mass Raids on West Bank

Cockney Rhyming Slang

Now hear this, now hear this, I have determined that Cockney Rhyming Slang is about as cool (and useful) as speaking Elvish or Klingon. That is all.

Monday, June 16, 2003

In Case You Weren't Scared Enough

According to Debka, Iran will have the bomb next year. Sleep tight.

Kix Has Done a Bad Bad Thing

I received this Kashrut Alert from my kosher hotline:
The following kashrus alert is from the Kosher Overseers of America on June 11, 2003.

Kix Cereal, General Mills, Inc., Golden Valley, MN has been switched to Dairy status and the OU symbol has been removed from the boxes. Boxes of Kix lacking the OU symbol should be regarded as OU-D. Consumers are always urged to carefully check products for changes.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

The Times Strikes Again

The circle of violence continues with the New York Times cheapening lives and Jaysoning the truth: Israel Strikes in Gaza Soon After Bus Explodes in Jerusalem

As long as they show balance, eh?

The New York Times makes a mistake?!

Now, we all know that the New York Times sets all the standards for journalism. That's admitted by every journalist. Remember that fact when you complain about the Times because it means that everything else out there is worse.

Anyhoo, after reeling from the "Jayson Blair" incident (where a reporter, named Jason, consistently faked the spelling of his name), the Times is paying closer attention to their other rampant falsehoods (which, again, are the best falsehoods in the whole journalism world).

Today, the offered a noteworthy correction:
An article yesterday about the dismantling of a rusty tower by an Israeli settlement in the West Bank as a gesture of compliance with the American-led peace initiative misstated the origin of Israeli control of the territory. During the 1967 war, Israel seized the West Bank from Jordan and took Gaza from Egypt, not from the Palestinians.
Isn't that wonderful? They are so brainwashed by their fake news that they actually printed yesterday that the Palestinians ever had land! What a day.

Check it out before they eliminate their evidence.

Feldheim Sale

25% Sale at Feldheim Books. G'wan! Git!

Debka

To keep informed (and by that I mean to make yourself feel arrogantly knowledgeable and scared out of your gourd) you must read the Debkafile. Basically, government officials and spooks of all nations give preferred leaks to Debka. One way you know its tippy-top secret and important is by following the color scheme of the news stories. Personally, I have no idea why some stories are blue, green, fuchsia, what-have-you. But *they* know.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Devils Beat Ducks

Regional loyalties notwithstanding, it's scary to say "Devils rule the World!" Poor duckies.

Monday, June 02, 2003

We're Back

From outer-space, na na na na, etc. After a not so nice oodles-hours trip from Ben Gurion airport to JFK through Geneva, we arrived home around 4 pm. My wife went to sleep immediately; I went to get the milk (not like we needed any, but that's the "after trip" ritual I learned from my village elders). Then *I* went to sleep -- just to get the edge off the exhaustion of the trip, dontcha know. Woke up at 1 am. Dee-yamm! Love that jet lag. And I have to be at work tomorrow too.