Life on Mars (US TV Series) - Wow

I just saw the whole run of Life on Mars - an absolutely awesome, yet doomed, sci-fi TV series. They canceled it after 17 episodes, but with enough time to allow a real finale. So, unlike it's kindred brother "Firefly," the story actually ends.

It's probable that you, no matter who you are, won't be affected in the same way that I am by the awesomeness of this TV show. You need to be equally obsessed with (a) 70s music, (b) 1973, (c) New York City, (d) red-headed boys who look like me (and my sons), (e) and time-travel stories that are also 70s cop shows.

The premise is that our hero is a cop in 2008 who after an accident wakes up as the same person in 1973. He meets his father and mother and other mentors when they are the same age as he was in '08. While the show depicts the drama of his home life, and his attempts to help out his mother and young self, the main greatness of the show comes from the depiction of policing, and NYC, in the early 70s - when cops were sexist, racist, and brutal. And so was the city.

The reason why cop shows were much better in the 70s is because the crime in NYC was insanely high. When Law & Order has a murder a week, they are inflating the crime statistics by like 800% - not so in 1973. Also, the music was so much better. When you see a leather jacketed, mustachioed, long haired cop striding around with a long rifle and snub-nosed pistol, there MUST be a funky bassline with a wa-wa pedal. See here for the visuals.

There's also the struggle the hero has in dealing with communications from the future, and what is possibly an attempt to remove him from life-support and other mysteries. Which makes the drama multi-leveled.

It's written very well and has an amazing cast of some of the best in Hollywood: Gretchen Mol, Michael Imperioli and the incomparable Harvey Keitel.

Naturally, it was canceled. Maybe it's for the best - the quality stayed great for the entire, short, run. Wow.

Worst Product Placement Ever

My wife and I have been watching Bones at night (it's syndicated via TNT or TBS or Bravo - who can tell nowadays). It's yet another one of the 'police procedurals' that infest prime-time television, but it's also a cross-over with the medical procedurals that have been around for a while (so, in Hollywood speak, it's CSI meets House!). But while I don't like those other shows that much, Bones is a winner because of (a) the smart and funny writing, (b) the relatively open plot possibilities (they follow every type of grisly murder, even cold cases - and oh man, the grotesqueness is over the top), but most importantly (c) the ensemble cast is top-notch.

Ensembles are usually the silver-bullet for long running TV shows. That's one key reason why Star Trek has lasted so long, but also M.A.S.H., Mary Tyler Moore, Cheers, The West Wing - all of them went beyond the possibilities of plot because any small item can be fun to watch when the characters are well known enough to make even minor gestures or phrases payoff. Listen up Hollywood: this will save you a lot of grief.

Note, this is possibly why I have more trouble with Law & Order and such - same 2 cops, same 2 lawyers every time!

Anyway, down to the worst product placement: last night was a new episode on its home, non-syndicated, channel. In the plot, three of the geekier male characters are enthused to the point of distraction because 1 guy managed to score tickets to the best movie evah: Avatar! 'No way' you say. 'Yes way!' I retort.

The main subplot, thus, was how these three guys needed to camp out on line to await the film (even though they had tickets?! yes!) And were telling unbelievers that Avatar wasn't just a movie, it was the total geek experience. They knew all the trivia about the movie and how it was the bestest to ever be presented to modern eyes. Furthermore, not only did they wait on line for a few days - needing to make flimsy excuses to their boss for why they aren't doing their forensic work to catch the on-the-loose killer (because Avatar is more important!) - but while waiting on line, they meet a bunch of very hot, promiscuous women who intend to sleep with all three of these geeks.

Yes, Avatar is so cool that you need to skip your life-and-death deadline job to wait on line to see it even though you still have tickets. And while on line, you will meet and sleep with beautiful women. Got all that?

Now the first commercial of the first commercial break was for: what? Avatar, of course. No problems there. Why not? But the crass, blatant product placement within a normally decent show, made me look up the information on the network Bones is on - which I discovered was Fox. And you get one guess as to who produced "Avatar:" Fox again.

It all came together and I was repulsed. I will not see the movie, out of spite, for how crudely that tried to carry that off. What an insult to my intelligence as a viewer. Blah.

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon

So in a matter of days, Michael Jackson (50), Farrah Fawcett (62), and Ed McMahon (86) die. McMahon seemed like a decent fellow and he lived a long life. Fawcett seemed like a dingbat and since I was too young for her heyday, I never found her that attractive or interesting. Sad to die of serious cancer though. Bummer.

Then we come to Michael Jackson, who was of my era. After a day's full of hype over his death, my first and lasting reaction is "meh." Yes, his music was great... but not recently. In that sense, he stopped being relevant to me a while ago. And in the age of producers/DJs/mixers, I have a hard time figuring out how much was him and how much his crew.

Then there's the fact that his early years (which I like; "ABC" is one of my favorite songs) were the result of serious child abuse from a horrific stage-father - it taints everything from that era.

And let's not forget the persistent charges of child-molestation. Meh.

I understand the veneration for John Lennon who was a musical genius and a martyr; I understand even the intensity for Elvis... but I have never understood the attention/concern about Michael Jackson.

But "Billie Jean" is a great song.

Pic from here

Daytime TV

While lying in bed, gently writhing in lumbar-exploded pain, I was able to catch up on about 5 or 6 years of back TV watching. When I was a child and sick on a weekday, I had to make do with either the weird stuff they put on PBS after 10 am, or, if I was lucky, the Price is Right (in fact, ask any gen-Xer, and we'll tell you that 2 things are synonymous with being sick: the Price is Right, and ginger-ale).

Anyway, this decade, I was able to relive my childhood not through bad TV but through VH1 - which is now strictly programmed for my age group. I was able to soothe my pain with 5 straight hours of the Top 50 One-Hit-Wonders of the 80s. Electric Avenue, indeed.

Myths of Good Criminals

Based on my outrage from the misanthropic "Law and Order" I will bring up another potential case - that of the heavily advertised TV program of rainbow-coalition gentlemen thieves "Leverage". The tagline: "Sometimes bad guys make the best good guys."

I have to emphasize here: Bad guys can make the best good guys? No, no they can't.

While I like "Ocean's Eleven" as much as the next guy, criminals are not foppish gentlemen thieves. Notice how the "Ocean" movies always have the victims be criminals (or casinos, same diff). So yes when "bad guys" attack other bad guys, we can cheer because in the end, bad guys are being schmeitzed. But the "Ocean" team were not actually bad people in almost any decent definition. They were thieves, but only from other thieves. Uh, boo? But "Ocean" guys were loving friends, loyal to each other, generous to the needy, righting wrongs and generally well-dressed and courteous. Why then are they "bad guys"? Show me them doing something bad.

Well, they break the laws. And I guess implicitly there's a belief in the writers that The Man will believe that laws are 'good' even when unjust. So to fight for justice, you need to break laws, which means being Just is bad.

There may actually be pea-brains who believe that. Southern Jim-Crow enforcing sheriffs circa 1955, or the members of the Bush administration, but generally this is a perversion of morality. And people instinctively know it. Which is why the story/archetype of Robin Hood requires a good governor (Richard) being replaced by a bad government (John, Sheriff of Nottingham). Robin is considered 'bad' because the sheriff is in fact the bad one. Were a righteous government in place, and Robin were still mugging strangers at the crossroads, then we'd no longer want to read about him favorably.

I have no problem, though with Robin Hood stories as long as they make the 'evil government' distinction clear. They lap into misanthropy when they refuse to distinguish between "bad" guy and bad-guy.

The lack of distinction can be a result of simple laziness. TNT can't be faulted for calling the group of Mission Ocean's Impossible dudes in "Leverage" a bunch of "bad" guys because they are most likely being lazy lazy lazy. And while laziness ain't good, it also ain't truly bad (maybe not even "bad.")

However, there are those who buy into the Robin Hood image as being necessary and good against every government, good or bad. They see the gentleman-thief as a precursor to the revolutionary. It's one reason why pea-brains have posters and T-Shirts of Che Guevara: he was a revolutionary and they're good because government is bad.


That myth is perpetuated by those who believe that bourgeois "laws" are in place by The Man to keep undesirables in place.

I'm currently suffering through one of the very worst classes I've ever taken; it's all about 'classical sociological theory' (read: stuff nobody reads or uses any more). And the professor decries the 'conservative' theories like Weber and Durkheim because they don't advocate revolution. Or something. But Marx and Foucault, lovely. Foucault is a hero to these pinheads (more on just how much I hate him later) especially because he claims laws are bourgeois inventions to keep the marginal figures in their place. Or whatever.

Let's be clear about "Che" - he killed many innocent people. He was a terrorist. A murderous scumbag. Only a schmuck can claim that "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter," because attacking innocent people, civilians, for the sole purpose of killing/maiming is evil no matter who does it. And no matter for what ends. The Mumbai terrorists and Che Guevara are equivalents.

But even outside of the terrorists and murdering 'revolutionaries' the Robin Hood myth wants to create a morality among thieves and con-men. Let's be clear about one thing - the gentleman thief is a kid's story, a myth. They don't exist. (I will confirm this by asking Cecil Adams... stay tuned).

Bottom line: I've met criminals and their ilk; these people are criminals not because they are rebelling against the system but often because they are stupid and selfish to a level that you probably won't recognize if you've lived your whole lives in middle class safety.

And note, similar to Weber and Durkheim, I *like* middle-class safety. The best things in the entire world have been created because there was widespread middle class safety. MCS is the cause of civilization.

Criminals are usually very stupid. And unreliable because of that. And also because to a person criminals are self-absorbed and often hateful of others. Hence why they break the law, steal things, hurt people, etc.

The concept that a bunch of 'outlaws' will be your crime-fighting force is ludicrous in a civil democracy. A real criminal will be completely unreliable and will hurt his 'teammates' and run off to get stoned.

But it's a trope of pop-fiction: that the bad guys can actually be good! That professional killers are nice folk; that they were just born on the wrong side of the tracks.

Good TV shows that show a reality in crime - the Sopranos, The Wire - emphasize my point well: criminals are selfish, petty, stupid and will hurt you. That's why they are bad and to confuse bad with good, which is what this misanthropic entertainment wants to do, is a perversion of morality. And I'm against that.
Lego Che image from here.

Who Loves Lucy?

All this talk of Obama and his mixed-race heritage, and listening to all the novelty songs - specifically Weird Al Yankovic's "Ricky" made me wonder - were Lucy and Desi Arnez the first inter-racial couple on TV?

If so, and a quick google search turned up nuthin', then its a pretty impressive milestone, even before the Civil Rights Act! The show ran from 1951-1960, and, according to the Wiki:

"I Love Lucy was the most-watched show in the United States in four of its six seasons, and was the first to end its run at the top of the ratings (to be matched only by The Andy Griffith Show and Seinfeld)"

This seems big... even though I find the show unwatchable, it had a big effect on the country. A blow for redheads' rights (and/or Cubans; maybe this shows that Cubans weren't really considered Latinos?)

Pic from the Wiki. Backpost finished on 2009-11-26.

Late Season Simpsons

I had heard that the Simpsons - the best show ever produced for TV - has 'jumped the shark.' I admit that I'm guilty of the urge to declare the show jumpsharky, but mainly because I was unable to keep watching it regularly. As such, schadenfreude forced me to desire that the show upsuck, to validate my inability to keep watching.

But this is unfair of me. A show that has given me so much... the least I could do is try to judge its twisted corporate sellout hack soul fairly. Ahem. So, through the miracle of Youtube, I'm going to see how much of the last two seasons I can glimpse and thus make a better scalded judgment.

1. Couch gag roundup [Link dead].

Styx: These were pretty good; i especially like the couch monsters

2. Test Episode 1 [link dead]

Styx: Ugh. Very few jokes, most of them telegraphed (i.e. i could write them, especially the asinine grandpa jokes). I had to pause it after 3 minutes because Homer was irritating me too much and then stop it completely after 5 (the chicken joke... who didn't see it coming??).

3. Test Episode 2 [link dead]

Styx: OK, this was intolerable while seeing what the Simpsons looked like 20 years ago. But then the Marge running sequence (the quads line, the Raising Arizona music) was pure gold. Then the dentist scene... oh baby. And while the "Fox" jokes have been largely telegraphed, I'd say that they are still great when they stick to parody.

4. Test Episode 3. [link dead]

Styx: OK, now this is disappointing. Because it's a parody and they were pretty bad at it. Its dumb Homer, too. And it gets worse as it goes on. Ugh.

Now, I realize that the people uploading and splicing the clips may be responsible for taking out good stuff and highlighting crap, but I dunno!

5. Test Episode 4. [Link dead]

Styx: a '24' parody. I've seen only a third of one show (which I thought sucked), but I know enough of the show through natural Zeitgeist portals, that I could get the 'inside' jokes; and it seems to be pretty good within the parody framework. Still some telegraphed jokes. Yet you can have Groundskeeper Willie saying the phrase "weiner soakin's" all day long for my tastes.

6. Test Episode 5 [Dead link]. This is from the 18th season acc. to the Wiki.

Styx: OK, in the first few seconds, a crappy Iraq joke. Dumb Homer to the rescue! The heavy French humor is OK, but you can tell they don't know who they're writing for anymore by the fact that we need to focus on Wiggim's siren. Anyway, since its a parody it works pretty well. (good lines: "rat helmet" "ooh, a penny" "Suzette!")

7. Test Episode 6. [Dead link] This appears to be from season 17 (sez wiki)

Styx: It starts off with a poke at itself ('classic grandpa' - a good joke because I was getting a bit horrified). Then, soon after, another poke at the past. Hmmm. Then a bunch of Irish nun jokes (which sounds better than they are). Actually, these Irish jokes are getting a wee bit too horrible. If they were Jewish jokes, I'd be miffed. Although the Saint joke is good ("I forgive thee, now die!"). The Simon Says line is good too. Homer appears to be crazy so far... does it last? Ooh, a good laugh... Well, it's gotten better - especially in snarking about how 'cool' priests work. And some good pokes at the inanity of Protestants and Catholics considering themselves different... And the fact that the mobsters are in the Catholic church and THEY DIDN'T FOCUS ON THEM! Just a quick throwaway gag, like in the good old days.

And I like the name of the Lovejoy's sect (acc. to the Wiki): The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism.

All said and done, crazy Homer may only be present when its a Bart and/or Marge focused episode. But, as we've talked about, that was like that a decade ago as well (maybe not as bad).

8a. Test Episode 7 [Dead link] Acc. to Wiki this is in season 18.

Styx: Bad premonition in that the obligatory guest star is Meg Ryan. [Homer Shudder] A decent Bush joke slipped in. Oh, and it looks like a Bart episode, which should mean crazy Homer. Hmm, nope. It's a maudlin "My Father is a Bad Father" Episode. Why?!? Who needs that?!?

But there is a nice insight about how psychiatry is akin to romance (and/or prostitution). But they play it to death.

The small Krusty interlude makes me realize what a missed opportunity the movie was (again). What they should have done was spend the time concentrating a plot on some of the best minor characters: Ralph Wiggum, Krusty the Klown and Willie. And if necessary only on Ralph. A Ralph-o-centric movie would have been great!

8b. This is part 1 of the previous episode. [Dead link]

Styx: Hmmm, nice Edward Gorey satire - actually, I'm glad they did this because Gorey was a real sicko. Actually, this whole clip is good! Which gives evidence to the idea that the idiots who chop up the episodes and put 'em on youtube are not capable of knowing what's good and what's not.

It's actually a good paradox: the type of personality that records a TV show, transfers the show to a computer and uploads a few minutes onto YouTube is probably not the type of personality that can appreciate what is good in a Simpsons.

9. This is the Family Guy in Iraq (it was linked, kinda). [Dead in 2009]

Styx: I am laughing more during the first scene than in the 6 previous simpson clips. Dammit! They seemed to have made Brian more pathetic (why?) but they also don't seem to care about reality. And I don't get half of the references. But, ooh, good fakeout on the cutaway. Har. Aaaand, thank you for the Stripes music.

I'm not happy about this experiment.

Top pic from here (a good essay BTW). Backpost finished on 2009-11-25. Most of the text was there, but for some reason I didn't finish it up.

The Last Sopranos

I was an avid watcher of the Sopranos until the last season. The show peaked, unfortunately, with the death of Nancy Marchand as Tony's mother. The interplay between Tony and his fascinating mother was the intended center of the show and when the actress met her tragic end, the show was actually rudderless. But I still watched, gamely, for two more seasons but the experience was getting too uncomfortable to stand. Basically, after watching a few minutes, I felt dirty and disturbed. It's testimony to the quality of the storytelling, true, but I didn't need to subject myself to it.

David Chase, admitted many times that he began to hate Tony Soprano, and the people who in turn liked the character. So Chase began to ramp up the disgust and the violence - daring the audience to go through a sewer, in a way, to keep watching. I didn't know this explicitly, but I felt it, and I stopped watching for that reason.

All that said, I didn't get to see the last episode. But I read about it, including a detailed blow by blow on a few websites, so I felt I knew what happened and what Chase was doing. And my theory is that the blackout ending meant this: (a) it showed Chase's fundamental contempt of the audience that he began hating a few years earlier, (b) that Chase intended there to be a recognized stasis for Tony's character (see #a)

These guys from Slate had a great discussion about the show and this guy gets it. Also, someone pointed out a key line in the interview Chase gave to the Newark Star-Ledger the day after the finale (key part):

Some fans have already assumed that the ambiguous ending was Chase setting up the oft-rumored "Sopranos" movie, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards.
"I don't think about (a movie) much," he says. "I never say never. An idea could pop into my head where I would go, 'Wow, that would make a great movie,' but I doubt it.

"I'm not being coy," he adds. "If something appeared that really made a good 'Sopranos' movie and you could invest in it and everybody else wanted to do it, I would do it. But I think we've kind of said it and done it."

Another problem: over the last season, Chase killed so many key characters. He's toyed with the idea of "going back to a day in 2006 that you didn't see, but then (Tony's children) would be older than they were then and you would know that Tony doesn't get killed. It's got problems." (Emphasis mine)

From this it seems most likely that Chase meant it to be ambiguous, that we are supposed to not know if he was killed or not but the possibility is there.

Backpost finished 2009-12-10.

The Oniono-Simpson Nexus

Further proof about my claim, made here, about the current humor landscape, this Onion story shows that it is a child of the Simpsons:

Carter Blasts Bush's Foreign Policy

In an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, former President Jimmy Carter referred to the Bush administration's foreign policy as the "worst in history." What do you think?

Ty Burton, Printmaker

"International relations? I have said this before about Carter, and I will say it again: nerd."

Backpost finished 2009-11-29.

Paul Mooney Agrees With Me

Paul Mooney is a comic virtuoso. I first saw him on the Chappelle Show as "Negrodamus" and I had heard that he wrote one of the best routines in SNL history: the job interview word association sketch between Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase (Monney was Pryor's main writer).

The Onion AV club has an interview with Mooney this week and they asked him why he no longer uses the N-word:

AVC: You've vowed to stop using the N-word.

PM: I won't be using that, no. That's a no-no.

AVC: What was the reasoning behind that?

PM: Well, Michael Richards, his meltdown. His nervous breakdown is what did it.

AVC: How so?

PM: Well, it was something else. I heard about it, and then I saw the video, and it freaked me. I'm not easily freaked. And the way I used the word, I was an ambassador for the word. The way I used the word, I was a part of it too. It became an equal-opportunity word.

[snip]

And there were layers to his breakdown, to Michael. I've known Michael for over 20 years. There were layers to it. This came out of Michael. Michael's a victim of America. There are a lot of white people who have this stuff inside them. It just takes the right situation to bring it out. White America should take responsibility for it like I'm taking responsibility for it. I'm not saying it. You have to say no to it. I was married to the word, I was the ambassador for the word and now I'm not saying it any more.

I've seen too many commentators and pundits associate any use of a racial slur with "Michael Richards" or "Mel Gibson." But those two acted in a very different way than using a slur - Gibson reportedly and Richards on camera were completely insane with hatred. See the clip to see what hatred looks like unleashed (if you've, thank God, never experienced it).

In fact, I can't see "Seinfeld" anymore. True, I was never much of a fan, but I can't see Kramer anymore and laugh. He makes me sick.

Brief: Space Madness

Found a fun link to wav-sound files of some of my favorite insanity. Like Ren & Stimpy. Site's called "Frogstar" which is evocative enough. Enjoy.

This is a backpost finished 4/10/08, but who cares really.

O.J. Simpson book, TV Special Canceled

First the 2006 Midterm Elections and now the O.J. horror canceled - two great blows against Fox's brand of Republicanism and sewage. I love how the same network that supports Bush & Cheney was paying OJ Simpson to describe how to kill people.

I'd like to remind everyone, as well, that if OJ had been convicted as he should've, then this would not be happening.

Police Squad is Finally on DVD

Oh Happy Day!

I have been waiting a long time (since 1999, when I first bought a DVD) - but the best TV series ever is finally going to be available for purchase and coveting. And I can stand by the "best ever" - there were only 6 episodes and the quality of each was near 100%. Even the next best TV shows, "The Simpsons" and "The West Wing," can't match that (Simpsons because there's been 17 years of them and The West Wing tanked after the 4th Season).

Comic Book Theme Music

This should get you in the mood for all the comic book movies coming out (more on that anon): Comic Book Resources - TV Theme Music.

Jerry Orbach, Star of 'Law & Order,' Dies

Jerry Orbach, Star of 'Law & Order,' Dies - he was really the only thing I liked about the newer episodes.

As I've said before, my wife got me into watching the shows which were good but in my mind not great. A good show is one that is intelligence-respecting, well-written, and entertaining. A great show is a must watch. Examples of Good shows, for me, are "Seinfeld," "The Shield," and "Cheers."

Great shows are "The West Wing," "the Sopranos," "Arrested Development," and the heliege "Simpsons."

But "Law and Order" was decent and I liked Orbach very much - it was nice seeing a plausible Jewish cop on TV.

Backpost finished 2/15/05

Song Hall of Fame: "The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen", Ren & Stimpy

Oddly enough, my obsession with Ren & Stimpy is only mentioned once before on the blog. While there is much to dislike about R&S, especially the glacial pacing and almost anything after the first year, there are episodes that are pristine in my eyes. The show is an odd litmus test, you had to have a special attraction to accurate portrayal of edgy, yet cartoonish, psychosis. I understand why people don't like it. But two episodes, Stimpy's Invention and Space Madness are pure art.

The show was known, as well, for their sick humor songs ("Happy Happy, Joy Joy" is the best known). Musically, and humor-ly, the easiest to access is the title of this post: The theme of the Kilted Yaksmen.

Unofficial Website here. Lyrics and trivia from here:

The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen Theme

Stimpy: Remember the royal anthem of the Kilted Yaksmen! (blows into a pitch pipe and begins singing as a lone piano plays in the background)

Our country reeks of trees,
Our yaks are really large,
And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses!
And we have to clean up after them,
And our saddle sores are the best,
We proudly wear women's clothing
and searing sand blows up our skirts!

(now an organ joins in as Ren begins singing)

Both: And the buzzards, they soar oooo-verhead
And poisonous snakes will devooooour us whole
And our bones will bleach in the sun!

Stimpy: That's it!

Both: And we will probably go to h(fart)ll
And that is our great reward
For being the uh-Rooooyal...
Canadian
Kilted
Yaksmen!

Stimpy: C'mon, everybody!

(now a big orchestra starts playing as various animals such as mudskippers, a whale, etc. start singing in bold, male voices)

Chorus: Our country reeks of trees,
Our yaks are really large,
And they smell like rotting beef carcasses!
And we have to clean up after them,
And our saddle sores are the best,
We proudly wear women's clothing
and searing sand blows up our skirts!
And the buzzards they soar oooo-verhead,
And poisonous snakes will devooooour us whole,
Our bones will bleach in the sun!
And we will probably go to h(fart)ll
And that is our great reward,
For being the uh-Rooooyal...
Canadian
Kilted
Yaksmeeeeeeeeeen!

Backpost finished 2009-12-14.

Barney Miller

The first season of Barney Miller came out on DVD and I got the first disc today. Boy do I love this show. Check out this page for resources (and an MP3 of the theme song)

Two lines from the IMDB 'memorable quotes' section from the immortal (yet all too mortal) Jack Soo:

Yemana : [answers phone] 12th Precinct, Sgt. Yemana. Yes, sir. A stolen car? What kind of car, Mr. Ravolli? "Studebaker". Could you describe the car, please? "Black fendors", "Silver doors", "Green hood", "Polka dot seat covers", "Monkey fur dashboard". Maybe it wasn't stolen. Maybe it ran away. Mr. Ravolli?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yemana : [eating Chinese take out with pencils instead of chopsticks] Just call your insurance company. Yes. Don't mention it.

[hangs up phone]

Yemana : Oh my God. I ate my eraser.

Map of Springfield

As has been forwarded to me by an avid Slashdot reader, the detailed map of Springfield, USA (United Simpsons of America): map of Springfield

P.S. I don't see "Springfield Heights" on the map (place of Apu's alma mater, Springfield Heights Institute of Technology)

Purim Torah Alert

The Simpsons Talmud - By Noah Gradofsky

Good Gift Ideas

For me:
Raiders.
Simpsons.

...not that I'm suggesting anything.