Showing posts with label silence of the lambs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silence of the lambs. Show all posts

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Flops Update: Schnitzie Pretzelpants

Seriously, Nathan Rabin's blog "My Year in Flops" is one of the best things on the internet. It's so good that even the comments section is readable. Anyway, his review of Exorcist II by my man John 'Zardoz' Boorman has this awesome paragraph:
Perhaps the film’s central miscalculation, beyond not making much sense and being crazier than 2Pac in that flick called Juice, is expecting audiences to fear a villain named 'Pazuzu'. Now Pazuzu is an actual figure from Assyrian and Babylonian mythology and figures prominently in Blatty’s novel, but that doesn’t make his name any less ridiculous. No matter how scary the film makes him out to be, 'Pazuzu' still sounds like a zany sound effect a slide whistle might make or a baggy-pants vaudevillian’s catchphrase. How frightening would Silence of the Lambs be if Hannibal Lector’s name was changed to Schnitzie Pretzelpants? "
And then there's this from his review of Harvard Man:
28-year-old philosophy professor Joey Lauren Adams, who lectures hilariously about Wittgenstein and Kierkegaard in a bored, flat, disconnected baby-doll high-pitched monotone that suggests she learned the script phonetically.
Wa-hoo. Its especially funny when you know who she is.

And, to emphasize how good the comments are, one dude wrote in about another bad movie:
Fellini's Satyricon is like a bad acid trip. You go from, "this is kinda cool" to "is this ever gonna stop?" to "My God, this IS never going to stop, and I'm going to die like this."

Monday, January 23, 2006

Munich Madness, part 1

This will need to be brief because I actually have too much to say. Back in 2005, Steven Spielberg, King of the Jews (with all that title entails) decided that his years in higher education (baccalaureate from film school, which, admittedly, is better than Clown College), gives him the authority, nay, the responsibility to comment on the Arab-Israeli conflict.

We know from the fact that he is (1) rich, (2) not-religious, and (3) married a bunch of non-Jewish women, we shouldn't expect that a movie about Israel will not be favorable to the Jewy Jewish State for Jews. And we'd be right.

Munich (2005) is based on a fictional account, written as non-fiction, of the aftermath to the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. But because the book source wasn't false enough, Spielberg needed to fake it up with a whole bunch of stuff that insults the memories of the victims of the tragedy, insults Israel, and all in the service of making a simple grade-school morality point: there's no such thing as good violence.

Well, I didn't have the time to waste watching the film before talking about it from the pulpit. Rather, I adhered to the "Silence of the Jesus Lambs" Rules which state that you don't have to sit through a movie if more than 90% of eyewitnesses, including many you trust from other encounters but including ordinary neutral parties, all agree. People from all walks agreed that The Passion was a blood-orgy of anti-Semitic hate. And even though Mel Gibson was a known tee-totaling philo-Semitic philanthropist, the eyewitnesses spoke as one.

So too with Silence of the Munich. Many trustworthy sources said that it was mean, stupid, hokum. And so I based my sermons on their words, including this fine analysis by Rabbi Benjamin Blech.

The key point of Rabbi Blech is that Spielberg uniformly distorted events, and then just made stuff up, in order to broadcast a dishonest agenda:
Too bad the movie does not include perhaps the single most relevant dialogue in Jonas' book, Vengeance, that served as the primary source for Munich. In assigning the mission, the agents are given clear instructions: If you get all of the names on the list, your mission is an incredible success. Get six or five, we will feel the message has been sent that Jewish blood is not cheap, that we will not sit idly by as the world did during the Holocaust. Even if you get only one or two, it will not have been in vain. But if you will be faced with a choice between killing any one on the list together with an innocent bystander or aborting your mission, your instructions are to do nothing.

That piece of information is probably the most crucial difference between the Munich terrorists and the Israeli hit-squad, yet it wasn't included in the film.

Munich concludes with a final insult: The disillusioned leader of the mission, who cannot abide the ideology of a country that dares to declare that it will no longer idolize the glorification of the Jew as victim, renounces his country and settles in Brooklyn. And so ends the hope of the Jewish people.

It never happened. And it makes whatever message Spielberg sought to bring to the screen indefensible.
Part 2 of this topic will deal with my reaction to actually seeing the movie.

P.S. I do like the fact that after insulting the memories of the victims of the Olympic massacre, Spielberg becomes part of the Beijing Olympics committee. His moral compass was shattered, and who knows when. And, yeah, he pulled out of the committee a few months ago in protest over the Chinese complicity of the genocide in Darfur. Bra-effing-O Steve. You're a real hero.

Backpost finished 4/13/08, 9:11 PM. I had just the link to Blech's article.

Sunday, February 29, 2004

Best Picture Analysis


In a 20 year survey (2002-1983), and 10 year survey (2002-1993) the following statistics emerge (how often the award was the same as the Academy, 20/10):
  • British Film Awards (BFA) = 5/5
  • Golden Globes (GG) = 17/9
  • Los Angeles Film Critics (LAF) = 3/1
  • National Board of Review (NBR) = 6/3
  • National Society of Film Critics (NSFC) = 2/1
  • New York Film Critics (NYF) = 3/1
  • Producers Guild of America = 10/7
Notes:
The Film Critics are nearly useless (BFA, LAF, NBR, NSFC, NYF).

The Golden Globes, an overwhelming predictor, needs to be balanced by the fact that 2 pictures are given "bests" (drama and comedy), doubling the chances. But it can't be ignored.

The Producer's Guild, who share many of the same voters of the Oscars, is a good weight, but not as good as GG.

To really analyze, we need to see the years that the picks were wrong.

The Golden Globes were wrong in 1991, 1992, 1993, 1995.
  • 1991 = GG chose "Bugsy," PGA was correct in choosing "Silence of the Lambs."
  • 1992 = GG chose "Scent of a Woman," PGA = "Crying Game" and the Oscar went to "Unforgiven" (which was ignored by all the other majors)
  • 1995 = GG chose "Sense and Sensibility" and PGA "Apollo 13." In fact, *no* other agency picked the Oscar; it went to "Braveheart" (a.k.a. The Passion of Scotland's Christ).
In the past 10 years, PGA was wrong in 1995, 1998, 2001.
  • 1998 = they chose "Private Ryan" over "Shakespeare"
  • 2001 = they chose "Moulin Rouge" over "A Beautiful Mind"
Totals:
This year, the tally is (from the Golderby site):
  • BSFC, NBR - Mystic River
  • CO, GG, GS, IND, IWA, NYOC, SanF, TFC, VFC - Lost in Translation
  • AAFC, BFA, BFC, CFC, DFW, FFC, GG, KCFC, LVFC, NYF, OFC, PFC, PGA, PP, SAG, SFC, WDC - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
  • SDFC - Dirty Pretty Things
  • LAF, NSFC, SEA - American Splendor
  • GS - In America
Now, I coulda sworn that the Academy would've chosen "Mystic River," but I'm not thinking this year, I'm using numbers. So, the Lord will be King (or the King, Lord; or the Ring King, whatever).