Grading Papers vs. Pulpit Rabbinate

I'm in the midst of grading papers as a TA (teaching assistant) and I remarked to my wife that I'm feeling the same tension that I had answering shylas while a pulpit rabbi. Often, knowing the standard halakha wasn't an issue: the tension came in when congregants would present a terrible scenario, where the clear result was forbidden, and I was tasked with finding out how there could be a possible leniency.

Note, this was a different process in NY than New Haven. While in NY, it was often a demand to find a loophole or wiggle room in the law, and I took up the challenge because (a) I was the assistant rabbi and that's my job, and (b) because I found it important to interpret Jewish law with kindness for people who could just run down the block and become Conservative and follow even less halakha. Most of the time I endeavored to explain the wisdom behind prohibitions, but the power-differential made this a loss-leader

In New Haven it was often the opposite - I had people who wanted to have prohibitions and I would seek legitamate leniencies because people were poor and it was my job as posek to help them halakhically and meta-halakhically.

In both cases, I couldn't just unload my halakha guns and say what the clear answer was. Truth, if it could be called that, was tempered with bent-backwards 'shalom.'

This is what I face while grading student papers. I'm an assistant again, so I can't exert my own will (which, for my personality, is a MAJOR struggle)... and I'm spending hours and hours on papers that the students will only react to for 30 seconds (a peek at the grade)... and I need to find some possible way not to give every one of these people a much more lenient result than the clear halakha would allow.

Radio Free New Haven is Off the Air

The movers come at 8:00am, it is now 7:15am. The Styx will be off the air for a few hours/days/weeks (it takes me from one month to three months to get myself back up to speed after a move - hoisting myself out of a well-connected rut is quite painful). Will resume the Styx in Massachusetts.

One more day

Tomorrow the moving trucks come to take us away from New Haven. When I am finally, safely, away from this city, I will give a massive dose of thanksgiving tzedaka for being able to leave here alive.

Oh, and happy Tisha B'av.

Back to School

No, I don't mean the movie (although, I do like to imagine myself as Rodney every once in a while, especially as Al Czervik).

Ahem. Anyway. I have officially accepted a fellowship at a university in Massachusetts to (finally) pursue my Ph.D. in the social sciences. I am being vague because I'm still under the delusion that I can hide my identity on the blog and I don't want to give too many clues.

My wife also got a very nice job as an assistant professor in a Massachusetts university, which means that we actually did get jobs in the same city (not easy to do).

We'll be leaving sunny New Haven for even sunnier Taxachusetts after the school year ends.

Obama's Super Tuesday Performance

2009 Update: Modified from an email to my brother; the names of congregants have been changed.

As I've been saying to everyone in earshot, don't listen to the Hillary spin - Obama actually 'won' Super Tuesday because he received the most delegates... and that's the score that matters. In baseball, for a simile, the winner is not who gets on base more, but who crosses home plate more. Obama crossed home more than Hillary.

Don't believe me, see this Politico piece:

"NBC News, which is projecting delegates based on the Democratic Party's complex formula, figures Obama will wind up with 840 to 849 delegates, versus 829 to 838 for Clinton. "

What do we know:Obama is still climbing in the polls, does not have Hillary's negatives, and does well in red states. Yet, you can say, Hillary has her great points too! She's got experience! She's slept with a former president (then again, so did Gennifer Flowers... a potential running mate). Hillary has health care experience! 15 years ago - with Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress - she destroyed any chance to get health care!

And she's old. Which is what "experience" means.

This morning, my second favorite congregant [Mr. Chuckletrousers] was gloating at Hillary's win. Yeah, he supports Hillary. She has "experience." Anyway, he said to me (because he knows I hate Hillary) that it's a known fact that the presidents who came into office without experience were bad presidents. To which I responded: "Yeah, Abraham Lincoln was terrible! And you know who was good? George Herbert Walker Bush."

Yup, I said it. I have witnesses.

A few days ago, [Mr. Happypants] (another Hillary supporter... because of "experience") said that he's worried that Obama won't be good for Israel. And I asked him if Obama has hugged Suha Arafat any time recently?

All in all, I'd bet on Obama right now. Good thing too.

Oh, by the way, Obama does pretty well with White Men over Hillary. She has locked up the white women (sorry, that's a bad image vis-a-vis Obama, but that's probably the image Hillary and her race-baiting scumbag advisers like), but will she win any white men in November?

Quick answer: No. They'll flock to McCain

Long answer: Hell no. White men hate Hillary. As P.J. O'Rourke described her: she's America's ex-wife.

Pic from here. Backpost finished 2009-12-18.

Don't Forget to Duck

Backpost from June

Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Using guns.

P.S. I found a link to the story from this online community:, The Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association. Here's what these gun-advocates have to say:

• From 'Gorgon': "[The article says:]They plan to begin patrolling Monday evening in two-person teams wearing "Edgewood Park Defense Patrol" T-shirts and carrying concealed, licensed firearms. While I'm sure the weapons will be concealed, the T-shirt would seem to advertise the fact that you are carrying..."
  
• 'Skuggi' responds: "I think that's the point, I think unlike here there are laws up there against open carry."
  
• 'Penguini66' adds: "Something tells me that this is going to end up bad."
  
• To which 'Bubba23' responds: "Yep, I got the same gut feeling. I am also concerned about two-person teams. That is simply not realistic. There are many situations where two trained LEOs can't safely handle a situation. I wish them the best and applaud their efforts, but still not sure..."
  
• 'Penguini66': "I'm also worried about the legality of the act. Advertising an armed citizens patrol is going to PO some LEO [Law Enforcement Officer] I'd imagine."
  
• 'Bubba23' concludes: "I think it would have been much smarter to forget the t-shirts and the name. The t-shirts are just targets and calling yourself a patrol might be a problem. Why not just be a few citizens out for a walk. If you have a right to carry, so be it. Anything else and you play right into the definition of vigilante: vigilante - someone who takes the enforcement of law or moral code into his or her own hands."

Note, these are all gun-carry advocates. And even they know the patrols are dangerous, counterproductive, and geared to annoy the police.

More Kashrut Alerts

The first part is here, put together in time for Purim 5767. I was hoping to keep collecting them, but I was being disappointed by weeklong stretches of normal/rational kashrut alerts. But finally, my anonymous friends at Kashut.com give us this double-whammy:

The following health alert is from the editor on April 2, 2007: 2 cans of Lieber's macaroons that I purchased were moldy. Check this product before eating.

The following health and kashrus alert was from the NY state dept of food and agriculture/FDA on March 30, 2007: Healthy Corner Foods, 6005 16th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11204 is recalling certain Chicken and Turkey Salads; and Turkey, Turkey Salad and Chicken Salad Sandwiches due to undeclared milk ingredients.

And then a few more:

From the OU on April 20, 2007. Oscar Meyer Lunchables Maxed Out Deep Dish Pizza UPC #44700 63044, Kraft Foods- Northfield, IL: The graphics on the packaging of Oscar Meyer Lunchables Deep Dish Pizza, a product which is not certified kosher, portray a water bottle which is a component of the lunchbox. This water bottle bears the OU symbol. Consumers are advised not to accept Oscar Meyer Lunchables Deep Dish Pizza as kosher. The product packaging has been revised.

Then there's this from my friend and New Haven colleague:

From Rabbi Jason Rappaport on April 16, 2007. The following items from President's Choice brand (there may be others) have a Hashgacha which reads:
"Under the supervision of Rabbi Jason Rappaport, Rabbi of Oslo Norway" (and then in Hebrew) "tachat hashgachat Harav Yehoshua Eliezer Hacohen Rappaport": Peppered Smokey Trout Fillets, Honey Mustard Salmon Fillets, Atlantic Salmon Fillets.

Rabbi Jason Rappaport has left Norway nearly five years ago and have nothing to do with Kashrus there so there's no way these products can be supervised by me and states the following: "In fact I don't give any Hashgachas in my own name, so any product which has the label above should be treated with suspicion."

And here's where Kashrut and philosophy - in this case, Chocosophy - come together:

The following regulatory alert is from the Specialty Food News and Brandweek on April 12, 2007. A proposal submitted to the FDA by the Grocery Manufacturers Association, in collaboration with the Chocolate Manufacturers Association aims to change the standard for "pure chocolate" by allowing chocolate containing less expensive vegetable oils, which would require kosher supervision, rather than cocoa butter, and milk substitutes such as whey, only some of which are kosher, instead of milk. Guittard has set up a Website at dontmesswithourchocolate.com to drum up opposition to the proposal. The petition is in the public consultation stage, and interested parties can submit comments about the changes until April 25. Additional information can be found at http://dontmesswithourchocolate.guittard.com/howtohelp.asp. The official FDA website information is at www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/dockets/07p0085/07p-0085.htm and the official comment page is at FDA.

Pic from here. Backpost finished 2009-12-14.

Rant: Deliveries and UPS InfoNotices

It's not hard for me to know why, in general, I linked to this UPS page: Deliveries and UPS InfoNotices, but I don't remember a specific incident. Basically, in my New Haven neighborhood, the UPS guy doesn't wait for us to come to the door before he drives off. Getting packages from them is impossible. Fed-Ex ground is fine, USPS as well. UPS just hates on the neighborhood, or the driver has pressing business with a pipe, who knows. I've complained to the home-office to no avail. So I have asked everyone to stop using UPS for my house (and in general I've stopped using them, preferring all the other many options).

Backpost finished 4/11/08. Just the link.

Lamont ahead in latest poll

This makes me nearly blind with anger. The latest Quinnipiac poll shows Lamont edging ahead of Lieberman for the August 8th primary.

The poll still shows Lieberman winning in November, though. The poll states:

Anti-war Connecticut U.S. Senate candidate Ned Lamont has surged to a razor-thin 51 - 47 percent lead over incumbent Sen. Joseph Lieberman among likely Democratic primary voters, according to a Quinnipiac University poll released today.

In possible general election matchups: Lieberman defeats Republican challenger Alan Schlesinger 68 - 15 percent; Lamont beats Schlesinger 45 - 22 percent, with 24 percent undecided; Running as an independent, Lieberman gets 51 percent, to 27 percent for Lamont and 9 percent for Schlesinger.

My growing disgust at Lamont is barely contained.

He had the gall to show up at the Pro-Israel rally last night at the local JCC. He got some applause and, thankfully, some boos. Then when Lieberman's message to us was read, there was a resounding - and repudiating - applause.

Why "gall"? Because all of the political messages that were read were from elected officials - our already elected representatives. For Lamont to show up was so he can suck up votes - and this was a rally for us to express solidarity and support in a time of war, not for vote-schnorring.

Given that his only issue is to attack Lieberman on Iraq, how dare he posture that he is pro-Israel? The two constituencies do not correlate! The odds that he legitimately opposes the Iraq war yet supports Israel are infinitesimal. It's just an example of his whoring for votes.

Am I Back?

I hope I'm back. Don't tell everyone, just in case this bursts early.

But I miss the writing.

The reason why this went on a year hiatus is 'cuz:

1. blogger.com was causing me much agita and
   
2. people were reading the Blog and nagging me in two ways:


1. asking why I had time to write a blog when I hadn't responded to their self-absorbed desires, or
   
2. how could I say such things when my public persona is a carefully produced shell that combines equal parts Chofetz Chaim and Abraham Lincoln - and neither of them would say such nasty things about nice people.

Anyway, if you out there get the urge to ask either of those questions, I request that, like the Chofetz Chaim, you reign in your yappers.

As it is, blogging for The Styx is the reverse of the most common model. People often blog to create a voice for their otherwise anonymity. As a public (type) figure, I have both a name and a literal pulpit, so I use blogging as an opportunity to be faceless and muted.

When you live in a fishbowl, there's an advantage to being able to shout into a void.

Day of the Timed Disasters

Tuesday was nuts. First of all, my Tuesday's are generally my busiest, with my office hours in the morning and my shiur in the evening. This week was to be the long awaited "Holiness of Israel" class that was canceled last week for sickness and postponed from two weeks ago for the conference.

Two members were in the hospital early in the week (and for a small shul, this is significant). I had hoped to get down to see them after lunch. But, by the time I left the shul, it had started to snow. By the end of lunch, a full storm had hit, sending this sleepy New England hamlet apoplectic with the Snow Freaks.

Before lunch I went to check my email and saw that the computer had frozen. Not an infrequent occurrence with Windows. I manually restarted the ol' battleship but instead of whining to life the "tower" emitted warning beeps and stayed good and dead. I tried a few times, unplugged all the peripherals, shut down all the power-strips and surge-protectors. Nothing. The computer was dead. Hardware level, dead.

I would have tried to take the computer in, or even summon a technician to the house, except that my wife had been hit by my kid's stomach flu. As you can expect, with me or my kid out of commission, the house can still function; with my wife poleaxed, we were all doomed.

With my computer dead, I couldn't prepare source sheets; contact online help - etc. The competing pulls and needs that day were enormous, but by taking things in order of importance (Child, Wife, Hospital, Shul, Shiur, with Computer at the bottom of the list) I managed to juggle.

Only after I got back from the shiur (which ultimately had to be cancelled when only 2 people showed up and they recommended that we all go home while the streets were being cleared, somewhat) did the full impact of a hardware-broken computer hit me.

The next day, I sat on the phone waiting for the good hour or so to speak with the Dell Sub-Continent Help Desk. It turns out that my memory cards had popped off their moorings (they discerned this through the multi-colored A-B-C-D lights on the back of the "tower" - cool). And after I cracked open the 'puter like a briefcase and fiddled with the innards, by the late afternoon, I was back in business!

Highly satisfying (to have the computer fixed over the phone) but I lost two full work days. And now that the weather was getting a bit better, it's starting a whole new storm. My wife is a bit better from her flu and my son is still the stalwart trooper.

Conclusion: Boo freakin' hoo. Poor me.

Cingular Blues

So, ya see, the synagogue wanted to get me cell-phone that can be an exclusive 'all-points' way of getting in touch with me. Great idea. Cingular was having a massive sale, so I felt it was the best option - also beause they could get you a phone number immediately and the phone soon after.

Well, turns out that Cingular had just merged with AT&T Wireless and was in the process of integrating their computers. After two days of waiting, one of the poor saps who works their customer service told me that because of the computer trouble, there were unprocessed back orders from two weeks before me. At that point I started cursing in Jedi. They took my point and rushed my order through and I got the number soon after and the actual phone in a few days.

But the phone didn't work. I tried vainly to get it set up, but it didn't budge. The phone said that I lacked the SIM chip (short for simian, I suppose) and it was supposed to have come with the phone. My office, never in a full state of organization, was turned upside down in my search for the chip which runs the phone and which supposively came with the package. No dice (or chip).

This morning, my wife went to a Cingular Authorized Dealership Emporium to get a replacement SIM chip (and to holler at them for not sending me one). She just called to tell me that Cingular did send me one - and installed it in my phone as a courtesy. They just installed it upside down.

AUUUAUUAUAUAGH.

{2009 update: pic from here.}

Headless Conference

We're leaving soon for this year's Wexner Alumni Conference, held in sleepy Tarrytown. Trivia buffs know that Tarrytown became famous as the setting of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" by Washington Irving (or Irving Washington)- the first sentence being:

IN the bosom of one of those spacious coves which indent the eastern shore of the Hudson, at that broad expansion of the river denominated by the ancient Dutch navigators the Tappan Zee, and where they always prudently shortened sail, and implored the protection of St. Nicholas when they crossed, there lies a small market-town or rural port, which by some is called Greensburgh, but which is more generally and properly known by the name of Tarry Town.

So, we'll be gone til Wednesday. Any of you who live in New Haven want to drive by our house to make sure it's still OK, be our guest.

Psak Reaction

I wrote that two weeks ago I ruled that the shul wouldn't say tachanun in reaction to the death of Arafat. While most of the congregation applauded the loss of tachanun, if not the loss of our enemy, there was some opposition. One member asked me for the sources of the halakha and I have spent the time since shoring up the halakhic support for the psak.

First of all, the Shulchan Arukh is very clear in Orech Chaim 575:11-13 that when we fast for rain, and the rain falls, we can say Hallel. Siman 576 then expands the need to fast to all difficult situations - including a feared enemy.

In any case, every shul Rav I've spoken to agrees that we have the power to suspend tachanun for a communal simcha, but that wasn't enough for the textually minded. Two poskim - one black, one white - ruled on the matter. Rav Nachum Rabinovich, the Rosh Yeshiva of Ma'ale Adumim, agreed with my decision (said that I did the right thing) and said that since tachanun was a minhag, I as Maara d'Atra could make that decision.

Rav Ephraim Greenblatt (the famed Rivevot Ephraim, whom I know from Memphis) was less enthusiastic about my ruling but said that I had halakhic grounding, specifically the Chaya Adam, klal 155, siman 41.

Rav Greenblatt pointed out that people associate omitting tachanun with the death of a tzadik and thus my psak was difficult. I explained that the omission of tachanun is only with the yahrzeit of a tzadik - the death of a tzadik (according to the Shulchan Arukh) requires everyone who hears to tear kriah! However, the death of an enemy requires rejoicing and the yahrzeit is forgotten (because of the yimach-shemo stuff)

Since then, it was pointed out to me that there were those in Israel who ruled the same as I: see this story from (ugh) Arutz-7.

It's gratifying to know that my halakhic-intuition was on the mark.

Arafat is Dead

In my power as Ma'ara D'Atra I declared that we would not say Tachanun today. No, it wasn't just because it's Thursday; after weighing the proper responses to the death of Arafat, no tachanun was a start. This is what I said:

We're told in Pirkei Avot, 4:24:

Shmuel HaKatan said: "When your enemy falls, do not rejoice, and when he stumbles let your heart not be glad, lest God see, and regard it with displeasure, and divert His wrath from him [to you]."

Our response is tempered; despite our joy we cannot respond with Hallel. But we recognize that with the death of Arafat, God has shown us mercy and we acknowledge that by not saying Tachanun.

Arafat was the greatest enemy of the Jews since Hitler.

He is called "the father of modern terrorism" - he gave the world suicide bombers, children as targets, the car-bomb. He also created the falsehood of a "Palestinian" - there is no such thing, no such person, no such state, and Arafat's evil made that falsehood live [one of the only things he let live]

The IDF claimed that for Arafat to die from natural causes outside Israel was the best possible scenario. And for that we're grateful as well.

In response, we will say three chapters of Tehillim: 121, for the ongoing war; 124 - which is about God saving us from enemies, and 125 - where we acknowledge that we must respond to God's mercy with mitzvot. We must increase our tzedaka and other good works today.

[After the tehillim, I had to say a quick comment and "Rebbi Hananya ben Akashya" so I said:]

There's a popular joke about Hitler and now Arafat that whatever day he died would be declared a Jewish holiday. It didn't happen - because we don't celebrate the death of enemies; we ask God to "yimach shemo" - to blot their names out from the world. No day to commemorate the obliterated names.

P.S. Psalms 124 & 125

A Song of Ascents; of David. 'If it had not been God who was for us', let Israel now say; 'If it had not been God who was for us, when men rose up against us, Then they had swallowed us up alive, when their wrath was kindled against us; Then the waters had overwhelmed us, the stream had gone over our soul; Then the proud waters had gone over our soul.' Blessed be God, who hath not given us as a prey to their teeth. Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we are escaped. Our help is in the name of God, who made heaven and earth.

A Song of Ascents. They that trust in God are as mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abideth for ever. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so God is round about His people, from this time forth and for ever. For the rod of wickedness shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous; that the righteous put not forth their hands unto iniquity. Do good, O God, unto the good, and to them that are upright in their hearts. But as for such as turn aside unto their crooked ways, God will lead them away with the workers of iniquity. Peace be upon Israel.

Chapter 11 disclaimer

Holy cow!

I want to assure all those who are members of my current synagogue that I was not referring to you at all. I got an impassioned email from a congregant that made me realize that just as I had to silence the Styx when I got my job in New York, I am again going to have to severely silence the Styx now that I'm in New Haven. I am going to now go through my recent posts and eliminate everything that could be offensive. It'll just be updates about my kids, political screeds, movie reviews, and odd observations. Anything that has to do with me personally will no longer be blogworthy. I was foolish to think otherwise.

Chapter 11

Well, it's come down to this, I'm declaring Chapter 11 but for time not for money. At least I hope I can do that. I'm going to tell my time-creditors that I am seeking protection of my time assets. Let's see if it works.

{2009 Pic update: the Mac Bomb, from here.}

Stress Levels High

While nowhere near the stress levels when I just moved in, these late-Tishrei stress levels are still off the scale. I'm laboring under some delayed obligations - from people who I'm sure look at the chagim as a suspension of work - and new ones piling on every day (from people who look at this as a new season full of new promise). Where's a fire-hose when you need one?

{2009 Update: 3-D version of Munch's Scream from here.

Zombie Grocers

There's a grocery store on Whalley Ave near our house that looks like it's been closed for a decade. The sign out front has no lettering on the movable type placard-board. There are no cars in the parking lot. The paint on the building looks sandblasted and peeling. There are no posters for weekly specials, save a lone pale announcement for Pepsi at 89 cents.

But the lights are on. And there appears to be occasional movement inside.

I am convinced it's a grocery store for zombies. My wife told me that she'll take it upon herself to protect the family should the Zombies from the store overflow and enter our neighborhood. In return, I am to slay all insects in the home.

Foolishly, I accepted. I just didn't think... she gets to wield the shotgun and the flame-thrower while all I can use is rolled up newspapers. Think next time dude, think!

{2009 Update: Google Maps provides a picture}


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New Haven Police Blotter

We're told that a few weeks ago a house was robbed pretty close to ours. Naturally this is very disturbing news. We feel pretty vulnerable in general because we're new to this place and while it looks green and suburbyish, there's urban blight oozing out of the streets every few feet. Nice well kept houses next to disgusting decrepit embarrassments.

Update: Note, since then, there have been a few drug busts on our corner. The Police sergeant says it was only heroin, so I'm not too worried about it. That and I am told that it's worse in other areas of New Haven.

Backpost finished 2/16/05 from an incomplete post