Fun: Onion Tells Truth, Again

The Onion gets a scoop, and they probably know it:

Sabra Hummus: Cedar's Hummus Lacks Experience Necessary To Become America's No. 1 Hummus

NEW YORK—Sabra Hummus blasted rival Cedar's Hummus Monday for lacking the ability, competence, and texture that Americans deserve from their hummus. "People of this country don't want some flash-in-the-pan hummus," said Sabra chairman Yehuda Pearl, adding that Sabra's strong coalition of mashed up chickpeas, sesame tahini, lemon juice, and garlic is virtually unbeatable. "When it's 3 a.m., which hummus do Americans trust for their pita chip–dipping? Some new hummus that makes a lot of promises about taste, or a hummus with over 20 years experience serving the American people?" Critics of both brands say that Sabra and Cedar's are essentially the same, offering citizens no difference in flavor, protein content, and quality

Hummus anecdote: Back in 1991, after living in Israel for a few months, I began to get addicted to hummus (as anyone who lives in Israel for a while will understand). I lived in Efrat, which in '91 was a itty-bitty town that had expectations of grandeur. As proof of the grandeur, they had a real sized supermarket in the center of town, probably the only supermarket south of Jerusalem until you got to Be'er Sheva. Anyway, I would get supplies at the supermarket for my "meal supplements" (the food at my yeshiva was so bad that I actually took to fasting so I could break the fast on real food). The hummus that was exclusively sold at the supermarket, in enormous tubs? Sabra.