Friday, January 05, 2007

Craze-dar

There are those who claim they have a 'gay-dar:' a secret skill to determine if a stranger is a homosexual. This skill - born from extensive watching of musicals, living in New York City, being in a High School band, or living in the closet - is largely a crock. Skill is developed only through testing for outcomes and since strangers don't ever reveal their sex-lives, there's no way to confirm a positive or negative test. Many of the gay-dar operators are the same type who claim they are 'an excellent judge of character.'

The absurdity of the Dar system is seen in this great Onion piece (I Can Instantly Tell Whether Someone Is African-American With My Amazing 'Blackdar').

All that said, I think I have developed a special skill along the same lines as the vaunted Gay-Dar and the mysterious BlackDar: a Craze-Dar. I have a highly trained sense for who's nutty as a fruitcake. As a communal professional this comes up often and has a real-world effect because most people just don't seem to know when they are dealing with a nut-ball.

Suuure, the obvious crazies are no contest. Most people can spot the looney if said nut wears stinky denim, carries his wallet in a plastic bag and screams regularly at squirrels. But only a well-trained Craze-dar operator like myself knows the yellow-flag difference.

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