Life in the Styx vol. 4, no. 12 (Old Styx)

Life in the Styx vol. 4, no. 12, Oct 31, 1997 (Excerpt):

COLLECTING

Yesterday's (Oct 30) House & Home section in the Times has an article about people who collect Beanie Babies. No offense if you're a Beanieoid, but these people are morons. Why collect these things? Yes, they're cute, but they just sit there. The whole "collectibles" industry is just a sign of consumerism gone mad; either that or it's a cleverly designed Idiot Tax.

True, I am a collector too, but I collect things like books and CDs. These things are functional items, though, which isn't collecting anymore, it's just "owning." Big difference. I don't 'collect' underwear, or have a paper-napkin collection.
And, double true, I've read only about 5% of all the books I own, but that's because I buy them for reference -- the key to attempting encyclopedic knowledge is not to know the fact as much as knowing where to look it up. So nyaah.

Collecting souvenirs from places you've visited also makes sense, I don't want to whip anyone into a defensive frenzy here. But the whole Beanie thing was created by Ty Toys to prey on these weak people who have a extreme need to collect SOMETHING. The company would purposefully make things obsolete as a cynical ploy to exploit the psychological weakness of the consuming public. Actually, I'm starting to like these guys the more I think about it.

Collecting is the material equivalent of a cliche. Mundane society (as opposed to the educated classes) quotes cliches the same way that the educated people quote literature. So the monied people collect art, as high culture, the mundanity collect Pez dispensers. [The latter comment should in no way be construed as an attack against Pez. I recently acquired a stash of kosher Pez and I'm happier than a pig in swill. You'd understand my emotion if you've ever had good fresh Pez.]